2 Years

As much as I try, these two years will be the worst. I want to fit in, I want to enjoy, I want to play, I want to do things in groups, I want new friends, I want to socialise, I want I want I want.
These two years, it’s hard to survive. It’s just two years, but it’ll be long. I can’t wait for it to end. I’ll have no one else.
I don’t even know if I tried. If I have its not successful. It’s not working, it never will. Is it me? Do they hate me? Why don’t they like me? What did I do wrong? Why? I’m just me, I’m just like them. I want to have friends, I want to be close to them. I miss those years. Where I knew more people. I miss those times. Where everyone seemed closer.
Now. It feels like everyone’s a stranger. Just strangers who know your name.
Why can’t I fit in. Why can’t I join in. Why can’t I get along. Why do people not like me. Why why why why why why.
I don’t like this. I feel odd, outcast, hated, ignored, unliked, a burden. I don’t want this.
But it’ll be over in 2 years.
Just 2 years.

Positive

If you were crossing the road, and suddenly a bicycle cross your path. What would you do? Would you complain to the cyclists? Or would you just leave it and count it a blessing that you didn’t get hit?

If you did not go to school, got a job but is lowly paid. Would you regret that you didn’t go to school? Or would you just be glad that you have a job?

If you had to wake up early just to go to work or school. Would you complain all the time that you’re too tired to wake up? Or would you be thankful that you can get the education and employment that many do not have?

Life sets in two ways. Positive or negative. It’s an either or thing, this is one thing that really have nothing in between. It’s one of the things that we have the chance to make a choice in. How we think, how we act. It all depends on what our mindset is.

Positive attitude lights up the world!
Just saying a single “thank you”, “morning” could lit up the day of someone:)

What if..

What if you lost someone. Someone whom guided you through life. Someone whom you’ve learned from and respect. What would you do?

Would you be lost? Loosing a teacher that taught you life. Guided you all the way. Been with you during your ups and downs. Always there to comfort you, support you. What if they’re not there anymore? Would you go all ’emo’ and give up life? Or.
Would you get stronger, knowing that they would want they best for you. They wouldn’t and didn’t give up on you, so you shouldn’t too.

Losing someone is part and parcel of life. How we react depends on how we see it. Just know that they are in a better place now. There, they can watch over us 24/7. You won’t always see them, or rather you can’t see them, but theyll always be with you. Always.

Getting over them doesn’t mean you forgot about them, it just means you’ve placed them deep down inside. In a place where they are always there. You remember the times spent with them. Memories. Recalling them. Loving them.

Don’t give up on life just because you lost someone dear. That someone still lives, inside. They want you to smile all the way. Every tear you shed, every laugh you give, every word you say, they know. Because they are with you all the way. 🙂

Give Thanks

You’ll never know what happens tomorrow. Who knows, maybe you’ll get hurt, get fired, get looked down, fall in love, meet a new friend, find your favourite book, or even eating your last meal. You’ll never know.

For all you know, having a meal, bathing, brushing your teeth, attending school/having a job. If you have these, you’re already better of than more than 1/4 of the world’s population.

We always complain about not having enough food, complaining about our parents, getting jealous of others having something you don’t. Typical right? Jealousy is part and parcel of life. Who doesn’t get jealous? But, have you thought about what you already have?

Having parents, both or one. Many people don’t appreciate them. They brought you up. They gave you food. They were your first teachers. They are your closest kin. They were your first playmate, friend. Don’t only appreciate them once they’re not here. Say it once, remember it always. Love your parents? Show them. Not everyone still has their parents with them. No matter how old you are, theres always time to say “I LOVE YOU“. Don’t have the guilt of later saying `I should have told them earlier…’. You’ll never know, you might see them today, and the next thing you know, they’re gone.

“Why can’t I look like her/him?”, “Why can’t I be born into a richer family?”, “I should lose weight, fit their expectations”…. Even if you never said it before, you can’t deny that you would have thought about it at least once before, such a comment. Right? As humans, we will never be satisfied. Once we achieve something, we would want more. Right? Sometimes it’s a good thing. Sometimes. But often because of these, we tend to neglect some things, important things, in our life. Don’t you all say YOLO? Then why would you want to waste your time to be “perfect” when you’re perfectly fine from the start? Because we only live once, that’s why we should live it to the fullest. Love yourself, this life. What you are now, is what you are. You can be what you want in your next life (heh..), you’ll be someone new then. So. Be yourself, don’t ve someone you’re not. 😀

As I said at the start, we’ll never know what will happen tomorrow. So treasure this day, live it as your last.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift from God, which is why we call it the present.” – Bill Keane

Why

Why…Is it so hard to give birth to a life, but so easy to take a life away?

Why… Is it so easy to smile in front of others but so hard to cry in front of them?

Why… Is it so easy to start a relationship but so hard to end it?

Why… Is it so easy to create a wound but so hard to mend it?

Why.. Is it so easy to say ‘I love you’ but so hard to really mean it?

Why… Is it so easy to hurt others but so hard to say ‘I’m sorry’?

Why?

Happiness

Happy. Everyone would be happy at least once in their lives. Happiest moments? Maybe getting married to their loves one? Seeing their children find love? Watching their kid playing? Or maybe simply being able to sleep through the whole morning and be awake cause you want to.

Well, happiness is when you are doing something you like. Being able to travel, or getting your dream job. Happiness can be simple, only if you imagine it well. Someone who only craves for riches and fortunes can only get artificial happiness. Those who are really happy, are those who lead a simple and fulfilling life. Doing what they like and whats best, what’s right.

Happiness is doing something that may benefit others instead of yourself. Love. Seeing someone you like loving someone else, is pain. But knowing that he/she is currently happy because they found their partner, one should be happy for them. Love may not be being with them physically, but supporting them emotionally.

Happiness is relieving those times where you live your life. Those times free of stress and burdens. The times where nothing seemed too much for you to handle.

Happiness is knowing your close ones are always by your side, and your always on theirs. No matter what hardships you may face, they still stick to your like caramel toffee, only leaving your once your flavoured the taste.

Happiness. Can be found with a single action, a smile, a greeting, care, love, joy, compassion. Spreading the joy out to others with a simple hug.

A hug. It can do amazing things. It makes us feel as if we know that there is someone always there for us.
A hug of happiness, knowing that they are celebrating for you, sharing the same happiness wiyh you.
A hug of sadness, knowing that they are there for you, comforting you whenever you need.
A hug of anger, knowing that somethings don’t go as well as planned, but they still care for you.
A hug of random, knowing that everyone needs love, at any point of the day.

Happiness, cue the smiles. 😀

Your world

What if you had a jar, and you can put anything in it, what would you? It can be your dreams, photos, memories, people, anything.

The glass jar is what you define it to be, you can choose to show it to others or not.

What will you put inside?

What will be your definition of the glass jar?

#1: Happy

Glass jar defines what you’re proud of, wanting to show off what you have or had.

Memories, photos, dreams, aspiration.

You just want everyone to know. Know that you have dreams. Know that you have memories. Memories that you’re proud of.

Everything you want to show off to others. It defines the things that make you proud, happy about your life and the things that happened to you.

Keeping it forever, giving it warmth, care, concern.

#2: Depressed.

Glass jar defines an escape. A place where it gives you warmth, when you’re surrounded by the cold atmosphere. In the glass jar, lies nothing but yourself. From the cold world, the jar is the only thing that gives you warmth. But then, glass, a material that shatters too easily.

When the coldness seems too much for you to handle, the glass shatters. Placing you back to where you began. Coldness surrounds you again. You’ll never find something that gives you warm. Feeling as if the whole world is against you. The feeling that no one cares, loves, you. That feeling. A feeling. The deadly feeling.

#3: Lost.

Glass jar. It defines nothing to you. You feel as if you’ve got nothing to show. Nothing worth showing. There’s nothing for you to treasure as well. It’s the feeling, where you’ve got nothing to lose. Nothing.

Memories, only the pain you suffered.

People, no one really cares.

Dreams, it’ll never come true.

Aspiration, too far to think.

Love, when was the last time you felt it?

—————————————————————————————————————–

Different people will have different views. The jar, symbolizes your heart. What you’re keeping inside. What you want to show, what you want to keep.

The thing about the jar and the heart, nothing is everlasting. No matter how hard you try, it can never stay there forever. You can try to piece it back up, but you can’t deny, it’s hard. It’s hard not to get shattered.

Back in those days..

Do you remember back in those days, when you were still a child. That you cared nothing else but to play and have fun? You would hang out with anyone who would play with you. Talk to anyone when you’re bored. Speak up your mind and barely anyone gets mad at you? Well that was back when we’re young.

Now? Basically there’s more to it than to have fun. Most people would focus more on grades or popularity rather than play. Or maybe so. But well.. Now everything seems to matter. Who we talked to, what we do. It’s for the name, rather than the reason.

Back when we were a kid, dreaming seems so easy. We just played for fun, rather than focusing on making memories.

Now? We do everything for a purpose. Pride, fame, lies all exist now. To keep it, we risk everything.

Back when we’re a kid, there was no such thing as pride or lies. We laugh or cry as we want. We did stupied things. Laugh, cried, ran all we want, all for ourselves. Looking back now, those were probably the happiest times of our lives.

Now, we’re older. Then, we wished we could grow up faster. Now, I wish I can go back. Back to those days, where there is no stress.

But this is part and parcel of life. We grow up to be who we are. People don’t change, they just become more of who they really are. There is always this someone, or something that comes across in a point of your life. They/It brings you out of you. Gives you the confidence that you once lost.

Back then, confidence, is a bystatement. Whether you have it or not, there will still be people playing with you. Now, without confidence, you get played around instead.

Not as it seems…

I’m not as dependable as i seem.

 

Maybe i can console you when you’re down,

or maybe i can cheer you up when you’re sad.

Maybe i can provide you a listening ear when you’re troubled.

I can be there just as a friend.

Your friend.

 

I’m there when you need me. 

I’m jealous of you,

that you can show your feelings ever so simply.

I wish i could as well,

but alas, 

I’m not as expressive as i seem.

 

Beneath my constant laughter’s and smiles,

hides plenty of troubles and doubts.

It’s just me,

I don’t know how to show my emotions.

 

I can’t say i love you.

Not to my friends,

not to my parents.

Perhaps i haven’t exactly felt love before?

 

I don’t cry in front of anyone anymore.

This i’m sure of.

I don’t want to see anyone see me cry.

I actually really don’t know why.

Perhaps i don’t want others to worry about me.

Then again, who really does?

 

I have twitter and instagram,

but i don’t rant on my life like others do.

At least, not when i’m not anonymous.

Perhaps I can’t find that person who i’m willing to fess to.

But is there really someone?

 

I laugh easily.

So easily that you guys think i’m easily amused.

I am.

But the people who laugh most,

tend to be the ones who are suffering the most.

 

Ha.

I’m ranting know.

I don’t know why.

Now,

all i can say is.

I’m not who i seem to be.

 

I wish i could be the girl who laughs 24/7.

I wish i could be the girl who does well in her studies.

I wish i could be the girl good in sports.

I wish i could be the good daughter.

I wish i could be everything everyone thinks i am.

But i’m not.

 

I wish i was, 

but no.

 

I’m the girl who laughs for half a day then cries alone in my room.

I’m the girl who struggles to keep up studying and hell she barely studies.

I’m the girl who sucks at running.

I’m the girl who can’t be compared to her sister no matter what she does.

I’m the girl who is not as dependable as she seems.

 

But the thing about this girl. 

Is that she worries too much about others.

She knows it, but it can’t be helped.

She gives advice who she can’t even follow.

She tries her best but can never reach expectations.

 

Ha….

The thing about her,

is that she’s broken doll.

And the other thing is,

no one knows about her. 

The real her. 

 

Smile~

There’s always a reason to smile.
A smile lights up the world.
Remember the time,
where everything seems down.
Then,
You saw someone smiling at you.
Instantly, you smiled back.
A smile lights up the world.

Always find a reason to smile.
There will be one.
Remember the time,
When you broke up with your first.
Then,
You realised that,
Perhaps he or she wasn’t the one.You smiled knowing you’ll find,
Find someone better.

Always find a reason to smile.
Even when times are tough.
Remember the time,
When everything goes wrong.
Then,
You’ll know,
Nothing can get worse than that.

Smile,
It may not be easy.
But sure it’s easy to do.
Real or fake one doesn’t matter,
As much as other people do.
They may not realise,
That the smile may contain tears.
Tears filled with sorrow.

But you can’t deny.
Smiling lights up the world.
It’s a simple gesture,
That means so much more.
Smile,
For all you want.
As they say,
Smile when you have teeth 🙂